Count My Blessing in Sabah: The Beginning

After a day's work (thank God to His grace and strength),  I am able to write this entree about memories with my bestie again. This one is written after a day when I sent her to the airport. So,  I hope to record the fresh details of her visit here before they slowly fades away.  When I look back at this entree,  I hope to be reminded and recalled things that we used to do,  say,  laughed or worried. Where should I start from? Hmm... oh yes!!  While writing this,  I am facing the dress that is hanging on the door. I left it there readily as an attire to Sunday service morning..seeing it reminds me of Wei Li.  She came in time for my comfort and joy. We went to shopping at Imago.  The mall is always my favourite place to go after church.  The last time I've been there was with my father for a movie. I used to go there alone but I stop doing so when I promise myself to only go shopping with a friend. I love checking out apparels ...

Today's sermon by Pastor Philip was about miracle. Usually I am not very sensitive about this title but today it disturbed me very much. The pastor describe 5 points to receiving miracle. He also shared about how he received his first miracle in his family,  when God brought back his daughter to life. He seem to press on about how we should continue to believe and have faith that Jesus does miracle. I felt a sense of unfairness because I questioned why wasn't there a miracle happened when I also had prayed very hard, sought God,  attended healing talks,  yet mom also left. Did I not do enough to step out and receive His miracle? I couldn't take in the sermon anymore and so I left the hall,  not wanting to date my inner conflict relating to miracle. It is wasn't that I didn't believe the existence of miracle, but I do, it was that my heart seem cold towards a faith that I deserve a miracle. I know mom is doing well up there with Him. I just feel indifferent to t...