Count My Blessing in Sabah: The Beginning

Blurry week...the week of menstrual Then all came the sinusitis, throat inflammation, fever, headache, coughing, lost voice. Listening got affected and memory aint working well. I made couple mistakes which didn't register in my head. Like distributing books to the wrong offices, and not remembering that I made the mistake. The receiving end also affected and couldn't register what people was talking about... I was uncomfortable with silence that it made me felt uneasy to express my thoughts out loud, as though it seems like a crime to talk what we think in the center. This week is like a restarting to me. On Wednesday break, what I predicted to be true, really happened, when Miss Pam spoke that I am under her training. It was obvious that she wanted to deal with it soon. Quickly briefing and pushing the responsibility to S. While Mdm Su has her own agenda, though she was willing to train me , she often lack the details which I found out later to be true ...

I had been awaiting for a moment when I get to celebrate my birthday with friends or close ones aside from my family. As most of my closest friends are outside of the country, the next people whom I find connected with are those who I am involved in the Sembulan Ministry. Today, it happened with the initiative of the leader whom I always admired for his honesty and understanding. Not forgetting Carmen who has been such a great helper throughout the ministry. They are people who could get conversations real.

Hahhah peekaboo!! Let's look into the highlights of this week.  Aside already getting used to the swing of work in ASAA, 16 February 2017 became the very first day I took leave under the grace of Reverend's permission (without Mary Vun's presence). There are couple things which I am so grateful about: Just like any other day, when I used to have so much time in my hand, I went out on a date with my father to the car workshop, breakfast and free movie time. Last year, we had movie courtesy of MBO, but, my dad got to experience entering cinema in GSC. (I still have MBO birthday movie.) I visited mom again and dad was kind to go there with me. He was also very compassionate about the children who stays in the grave. So, the grave was cleaned with a small fee paid to the children who cleared the weeds and grass. Writing my message to my mom the night earlier, had helped my visit turned brief and meaningful. The orchids were in season and I cut the greatly boomed one fo...

How do I describe my day? How do I rate my day? How was my experience working in the office? Did you find working stressful? Were there any incidents that surprised you? Do you see yourself working long in this place? These were some of the questions I have thought about today. I was looking forward to assembly early this morning. I was wondering if it would be held outside or inside of the building. When we went up a floor above ours, there was a large room that could be filled with all the students. There were about 200 students in the hall. I was surprised to find how fortunate they are to be staying in an air-conditioned room for the assembly. The plastic chairs were new and comfortable. The slides were projected onto the wall while worship was led by a student leader. I was amazed by the level of grit that student had for standing in front of the crowds sining Christian songs as a model of the you go to see. Although it felt just like a Sunday service when the Principal sp...

This whole week, I was covered with a heavy emotion. An inner conflict of hatred, jealousy and loneliness. I struggled to come out from the shell of darkness and tears. It was so suffocating that the only place for me breather was being outside of the house. I pour out my heart to my yiyi. I think her role as a counselor helped me to process my inner feelings and thoughts. Thanks to her counselling I was able to answer my own question. Why did I bear with all this emotion? What made me do so when I could feel otherwise? I can choose to love in two ways. To love someone in hatred/expectation or to love someone as they are. I loved with an expectation of return. It was I who was being conditional of them whereas situation can be the other way round. I had love out of spite. But now knowing that, I felt peaceful about when I realized that I should love with acceptance. That made all the different. I love my family so much that I was scared to lose them so much so feelings of hatred,...