I am really going to leave this place? There is no turning back. I gave my words and promised to take on this Fellow. Why did I accept the offer at the first place? Was I too eager and so excited, based on feelings, I go for this two years challenge without thinking about the consequences or the commitment it is asking for? I don't know but I knew it that I want to help the less privilege kids. I thought about the opportunities of meeting new people and the social network that I might gained from all possible experiences. Actually, I fear that I will not be connected as what I thought I would. Then, I remember Lord's word , ' I can do all things in God's strength, I shall not boast but in my weakness I find my confident in Him'. This verse gave me assurance over all the doubtful thoughts I have.

Yes, I agree I will take some time or probably struggle to get used to new places. Yes, I fear about driving along to the placement school. Yes, I don't know the environment, how it would affect me. However, I keep my thoughts positive. I am sure I will have good accommodation, good students, and good colleagues.

I know that I will miss this place. I have yet to take the courage to speak to Pastor Jonathan about my intention to leave since my training starts end of October. I also don't know how I would break this news to my close friends. Sometime, I feel I better just keep it in secret so that I would not hear anything negative which I thought they would comment. I don't know at what level would they understand my thoughts to support me. I think also because I know how totally right they are when talking about my future plans.

I don't have a long career plans but I do see myself to be a successful corporate woman. I might not have started a good career path that favors me the opportunity to climb up the ladder. Maybe, now in this era, younger generation would not be like gen X who can stay on a job for years. The way I see it, I will have to do things differently in order to be a successful and calibre woman. This will start from leadership and influence. I think Teach For Malaysia is a good training ground for that. I can't say how much I would get to experience , and I don't want to give my judgement, because TFM is new. I am the first cohort, I am sure there are bound to be many of my future experiences or challenges would need to be address through sending my message to the stakeholders. I hope to meet inspiring stakeholders,

This is it, I will make my silent leave and go to the land to be shaped by God himself. Father, touch me in a way that I serve You better and better each day. I want to see Your love blooms in the ambience of servitude. Train my heart to know Yours. Let this two mission teach me something about You, who is also a great teacher to the public. I may not know how this Fellow will shape me into. It could be a ground to open myself up or it could be a stepping stone to another calling You have for me. Either way,give me the wisdom to see the things You are going to teach me.

Amen.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dissapointment by the turn of events.

You can choose to love on two ways.

First knowledge buying IT product