Back to writing mode..back on my feet again.
It has been awhile since I wrote the last entry.
This is the first entry for year 2015!
There have been a lot going on. After Christmas, settling back to KL was a struggle. Getting used to being in a new role in Teach for Malaysia. Working up my courage to face the deepest fear of not able to restart my life again after a huge disappointment from last year.Third week into the month, I have finally get myself back on two feet. Once awhile I have to admit that I do feel very down and think about my mother. After a few tears, I would feel the courage to straighten my posture and face the day.
To be where I am today, initial thought of not able to make it living a life in KL, each day I feel myself being filled with more courage than the day before. I feel more at peace and happier as days go by. It is happening this week. It has become a surprise for me too. The things I thought I would not able to go through, I just found the courage and confidence in the Lord.
The past 3 months felt like a time warp zone. I felt like I was being absorbed into a black hole of darkness and confusion. The world was turning around on me after I lost the dearest one. I turned blue , clueless, depressed and lost. All the goals I seem to built for myself meant nothing to me. So, this was how it felt like to be torn off a pillar of hope and strength.
I am amazed that I am still able to get back up on my two feet after awhile. Since the day I surrendered my hurt and pain to God, He constantly filled me with His spirit with peace. It takes my trust on Him to heal my soul. One day at a time, I prayed to God to give me enough strength to face the day once I stepped out from my apartment. Before, I remember hearing myself praying the Lord's prayer as the first word I spoke once I was conscious from sleep.
Throughout the time, I was also encouraged by Him. There was a day or two that I felt utterly helpless and self-condemned because of the realization that my career path had not gone to where I had expected. One day, after the Sunday sermon, just curious as always, I walked to a table where Christians books were laid out for sale. There, then I saw a book written by a favorite preacher of mine, Joyce Meyer. I read the title of the book ' You can begin again' and overcame with a sudden grace from the Lord. I knew God was telling me then that there is a new beginning for every failure. The book continues on how Lord changes a dire situation to another with full of hope and promises. As I am reminded of the verse from Jeremiah, I understood why He had me go through the things last year.
Last two Sundays, the sermon on spirit breakout actually also help me in the process of healing. I found the gift of peace in my heart. It made all worry stops and I was able to, even now still, free to my myself.
i don't intend to write an ending to this entry. The growth of a person is not defined by time but defined by the medium or ......
This is the first entry for year 2015!
There have been a lot going on. After Christmas, settling back to KL was a struggle. Getting used to being in a new role in Teach for Malaysia. Working up my courage to face the deepest fear of not able to restart my life again after a huge disappointment from last year.Third week into the month, I have finally get myself back on two feet. Once awhile I have to admit that I do feel very down and think about my mother. After a few tears, I would feel the courage to straighten my posture and face the day.
To be where I am today, initial thought of not able to make it living a life in KL, each day I feel myself being filled with more courage than the day before. I feel more at peace and happier as days go by. It is happening this week. It has become a surprise for me too. The things I thought I would not able to go through, I just found the courage and confidence in the Lord.
The past 3 months felt like a time warp zone. I felt like I was being absorbed into a black hole of darkness and confusion. The world was turning around on me after I lost the dearest one. I turned blue , clueless, depressed and lost. All the goals I seem to built for myself meant nothing to me. So, this was how it felt like to be torn off a pillar of hope and strength.
I am amazed that I am still able to get back up on my two feet after awhile. Since the day I surrendered my hurt and pain to God, He constantly filled me with His spirit with peace. It takes my trust on Him to heal my soul. One day at a time, I prayed to God to give me enough strength to face the day once I stepped out from my apartment. Before, I remember hearing myself praying the Lord's prayer as the first word I spoke once I was conscious from sleep.
Throughout the time, I was also encouraged by Him. There was a day or two that I felt utterly helpless and self-condemned because of the realization that my career path had not gone to where I had expected. One day, after the Sunday sermon, just curious as always, I walked to a table where Christians books were laid out for sale. There, then I saw a book written by a favorite preacher of mine, Joyce Meyer. I read the title of the book ' You can begin again' and overcame with a sudden grace from the Lord. I knew God was telling me then that there is a new beginning for every failure. The book continues on how Lord changes a dire situation to another with full of hope and promises. As I am reminded of the verse from Jeremiah, I understood why He had me go through the things last year.
Last two Sundays, the sermon on spirit breakout actually also help me in the process of healing. I found the gift of peace in my heart. It made all worry stops and I was able to, even now still, free to my myself.
i don't intend to write an ending to this entry. The growth of a person is not defined by time but defined by the medium or ......
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