Count My Blessing in Sabah: The Beginning

Just about around this time last week, it was then I spent short but precious time with the Gleasons. We dated back long before that , when they were both my landlord and spiritual family. Our time together was precious. I learnt something valuable out of this trip. A. Youth is short. Being together, we talked about life in Rochester. We asked about the people whom we used to know and check to see if they are doing well. You just wonder if the 4 years spent in US was real or not. How time flies and still  couldn't believe that part of me was there, studying , socializing and invested energy or emotion in building relationships. Part of me change for the better by knowing others in a foreign country. The time in University, was the most fun but at the same time fleeting easily, in a blink an eye the person I am today can't be compared to that time who was adventurous, naive and energetic. Time when first love was where the heart beats to live life passionately. B. Rela...

Here is my reflection of my journey with ASAA I have not gotten my priority straight. I got too greedy and fearful about my future, that I tried to build on both careers, on the resume and on my startup of tuition. Not wanting to walk in faith, overcome by fear. Overcome with sense of threat that my future would be a terrible one. After 6 months working in ASAA, with all the experienced gained, I became more lost. Filled with anger within me, drained and confused, disorientated by the flow of events both in ASAA, tuition center and church. I drifted away from God. Spending most of the time with children daily. I took granted of Sunday as my rest day, not worshiping God at church. wanting to earn money, yet God took away what I didn't deserve despite the hard work. I might lose all that I had worked for the tuition centre. If I keep going on like this, holding onto the past, wanting to meet up to the amount which I used to earn, it is not worth it. as I am not happy, ...

They are like butterflies who brought me delight in times of loneliness. Thank you Lord for their presence.

April 29 April 30th

 Why is it called colour run? At the start of the race, runners are blitz with colors. It wasn't much of a happening. I finished 5 km in 1 hour. I ran and walked during the first 2 km but resolved to walking when my legs couldn't take it anymore. Well, I am being gentle of my feet at this first run of the year. The last time I did a run was in November. The excitement of finishing the race. The organizer has delayed the giving out of medal. The starting point and ending point of the run in the middle of the Likas Bay. Bizarre to see jellyfished swimming under a bridge. Something different for the day.

Archived: Lesson 1 On the second day of teaching school kids in Sembulan, there were three students ( 3 boys) present in the house for the first 40 minutes. I had expected the 9 students to be present sharp on 11 am. I was really unhappy with the attendance. I had almost wanted to cancel the class due the few number but I continued for these boys. Gradually, the girls were standing outside the house despite the gate was opened. I wanted them to know indirectly that the class was still open for them even though I was in the midst of teaching the boys. Yet, they kept standing there. However, they called my name. I was full of pride and ignored their call. I did not want to speak to them as I was afraid to get soft hearted by their excuses and sweet faces. I conveyed a message to them through Darwis, that they should come back on other day. Then, the gate was closed. There were a few calls from different girls. I did not turn my head around. I almost give in and peeped at t...

Kanae left for Japan. The only friend who had been with me since the start of my journey in KK. The day I met her on IEC, it was the time after I have returned from KL for good. I didn't really think she could make any impact in my life since I was the one who had served her more than she had to me. I tried my best to blessed her life with joy, peace laughter and companionship. She was alone working in KK. After not even more than a year, she had returned to her home country. I miss her presence today. Not having her beside me on Sunday service, it made me feel a little longing for someone's presence. Writing this reminds me that I should take an accountability with her about looking for a church.

My experience this time is really different when attending interview. I have returned from my interview which ended at 3.45 pm, 15 minutes past the intended time (due to some technicalities). I would rate my interview as a perfect 5 stars. All I knew I was rambling away in order to answer the questions asked by each panel. It was a relaxing one (mainly because I am already used to countless job interviews). I recalled checking in a day before around 5 pm at Le Apple Boutique Hotel, right next to Avenue K. After that, I checked the route to the building by foot and train. Train was more comfortable way of getting to the building without ending up feeling sweaty and smelly from the road users. It was amazing that Sharon arrived later after 8 pm, a day before as well, and we enjoyed keeping each other company all the way until the time of our interviews. She had hers as the first person of the day and it went on smoothly while I was waiting for her in Starbucks , the following day...

Blurry week...the week of menstrual Then all came the sinusitis, throat inflammation, fever, headache, coughing, lost voice. Listening got affected and memory aint working well. I made couple mistakes which didn't register in my head. Like distributing books to the wrong offices, and not remembering that I made the mistake. The receiving end also affected and couldn't register what people was talking about... I was uncomfortable with silence that it made me felt uneasy to express my thoughts out loud, as though it seems like a crime to talk what we think in the center. This week is like a restarting to me. On Wednesday break, what I predicted to be true, really happened, when Miss Pam spoke that I am under her training. It was obvious that she wanted to deal with it soon. Quickly briefing and pushing the responsibility to S. While Mdm Su has her own agenda, though she was willing to train me , she often lack the details which I found out later to be true ...

I had been awaiting for a moment when I get to celebrate my birthday with friends or close ones aside from my family. As most of my closest friends are outside of the country, the next people whom I find connected with are those who I am involved in the Sembulan Ministry. Today, it happened with the initiative of the leader whom I always admired for his honesty and understanding. Not forgetting Carmen who has been such a great helper throughout the ministry. They are people who could get conversations real.

Hahhah peekaboo!! Let's look into the highlights of this week.  Aside already getting used to the swing of work in ASAA, 16 February 2017 became the very first day I took leave under the grace of Reverend's permission (without Mary Vun's presence). There are couple things which I am so grateful about: Just like any other day, when I used to have so much time in my hand, I went out on a date with my father to the car workshop, breakfast and free movie time. Last year, we had movie courtesy of MBO, but, my dad got to experience entering cinema in GSC. (I still have MBO birthday movie.) I visited mom again and dad was kind to go there with me. He was also very compassionate about the children who stays in the grave. So, the grave was cleaned with a small fee paid to the children who cleared the weeds and grass. Writing my message to my mom the night earlier, had helped my visit turned brief and meaningful. The orchids were in season and I cut the greatly boomed one fo...

How do I describe my day? How do I rate my day? How was my experience working in the office? Did you find working stressful? Were there any incidents that surprised you? Do you see yourself working long in this place? These were some of the questions I have thought about today. I was looking forward to assembly early this morning. I was wondering if it would be held outside or inside of the building. When we went up a floor above ours, there was a large room that could be filled with all the students. There were about 200 students in the hall. I was surprised to find how fortunate they are to be staying in an air-conditioned room for the assembly. The plastic chairs were new and comfortable. The slides were projected onto the wall while worship was led by a student leader. I was amazed by the level of grit that student had for standing in front of the crowds sining Christian songs as a model of the you go to see. Although it felt just like a Sunday service when the Principal sp...

This whole week, I was covered with a heavy emotion. An inner conflict of hatred, jealousy and loneliness. I struggled to come out from the shell of darkness and tears. It was so suffocating that the only place for me breather was being outside of the house. I pour out my heart to my yiyi. I think her role as a counselor helped me to process my inner feelings and thoughts. Thanks to her counselling I was able to answer my own question. Why did I bear with all this emotion? What made me do so when I could feel otherwise? I can choose to love in two ways. To love someone in hatred/expectation or to love someone as they are. I loved with an expectation of return. It was I who was being conditional of them whereas situation can be the other way round. I had love out of spite. But now knowing that, I felt peaceful about when I realized that I should love with acceptance. That made all the different. I love my family so much that I was scared to lose them so much so feelings of hatred,...

Waking up tonight, seeing this new day Last night was a great time with two bestie Can't forget my mind the wonderful moments we had We are getting older lately Going on with our own life path Praying for strength and courage For me and you. Day 2 Post Trip An outing at night, at first I thought it was going to be exciting but i turned deaf to the conversation between my two friends My mouth was shut and my mind was unresponsive I wasn't tired but I was sad over something But I didn't know what was it I spent to my heart's content I ate to my tummy's desire I drank tea to satiate my nose Maybe because I had reached my listening quota which is peculiar anyway i know that this moment would be our last  so it seemed

I woke up at 6 am with a strong sense of awareness that New Year has ushered in with great promise. I cherished the slow start of the first two days. The mind stopped and having hard time processing the type of courage and brevity that I should have in my belt to face the year. When I have such emotion, the sky never fail to encourage me. The Lord spoke to the world that 'I will not forsake you but you will have good things.' So I dwell in His words. With the new month, I want to be thinking about the good things in a week's time. I want to stop thinking too far ahead. Living a day means I am alive for today. A beautiful dawn a beautiful start of 2017. Last Night

I had more than a can of beer tonight 🍺 from shandy to tiger radler to meester. They chilled me as I cracked jokes. Cheered to the new year.. Two days before the countdown.. I ate pork satay dumplings and chicken wing...just like how the Koreans enjoyed drinking with fried chicken. Really what is there to reflect about this year? I just want to empty my glass and fill it with new drink. It could be Shandy, tiger radler or mixture, or trying out a new beer like Meester or going back and forth between those three. Just let go the past and look forward to new things next year. That is what I want for myself next year just like Adele prayed to be successful in every aspect of life be it love, career and health. Hopefully next year could be the new start of academic and love life for me.. I really want that to happen for me. In just less less than two months I will be 32 what a stable number