Not a Happy CNY

This time coming home seem to be a struggle more than a happiness. Why things have to be so hard?

When ones try to bless other people without condition, the others do not accept it with an open heart. Just like the case with the gift for my brother.

My come and go has become a numbing presence to them. I am not making an impact in their lives.
Silence stay in the conversation. Trivial topics over than true genuine concern.

Relationship getting more distanced over time. Why do we become more strangers when suppose we should have more to talk about?

I really do not understand. I leave this place with more sorrows than I expected the otherwise.

Lord, what are you trying to make me see now? Is there no such hope in our family to even have a proper outing or conversation? Who is making things hard? For first time now, I do not blame myself for the silence in the house. I learned to accept that it is their doings.

I am afraid that this means staying in KK might not be the best decision in life. Staying here may just mean more sadness and unhappiness.

Tomorrow, I am going back just feeling discouraged than ever. Lord, help me to face life with faith and courage again.


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